Monkey And Sadist
by MadHatterLilith
Summary: Sougo and his ex-criminal informant Rei have always been rather distant with each other for good reason. But when they somehow both get roped into an undercover mission with the Harusame, they get too close for comfort and reluctantly end up falling deep into both love and pirating. Not that either will admit anything and risk losing, as childish and stubborn as they both were.


**I own only OCs.**

 **Chapter One:** **Somewhat Friendly?**

Another day, another failed attempt to get rid of the mayo-freak vice-chief.

Sougo leaned back in his seat on the park bench, annoyed by the bad combination of smothering summer heat and dark clothing. At least he was off duty now and he didn't have to spend any more time with that jerk. Something cold touched the side of his neck, and he resisted the urge to jump or swat it away. "You look like you're melting in that, Sadist." He could hear the grin in her voice. Of course she'd show up when he was having a bad day; her habit of sneaking up on people with perfectly silenced footsteps was really starting to wear on his nerves. "Have a popsicle; I've got a ton of them."

He took it from her without looking back, glaring at the tube of colored ice as though it were responsible for all the bad in his life. Of course she gave him red; she knew he would've preferred orange or purple. Red could be any number of flavors, including the much loathed artificial cherry. "At least you're not China," he shrugged. Blowing off steam sparring with the other girl didn't sound so bad but he wasn't in the mood to mess around.

"Is that someone's nickname or are you seriously going mad from the heat?" She jumped over the bench's back and settled down next to him, tearing the top of her popsicle off with her teeth. She sighed in relief when she could finally reach the green ice inside. "Apple! Lucky me! Yours is watermelon by the way. So stop glaring at me like that; it makes me feel like you're going to drug me, lock me up in your basement, and force me to get my teeth pulled or something." She shuddered at the thought.

"Thanks for the idea, monkey." He shot back, starting to smile just a little. Apparently both Rei and Hijikata were afraid of dentists; either way, it was a fun mental simulation. "Do you have any info for me?" Rei nodded, passing him a scrap of paper she'd hidden in the fold of her kimono. Sougo unfolded it with one hand, handing it back after reading it. "That's just some guy's number."

"He's a major dealer of that drug, Paradise. Plus, he seems to have connections with not only the lower ranks of the Harusame—his suppliers—but also with a number of anti-bafuku and anti-amanto groups." She replied, refusing to take it back. "Stupid, huh? Saying they want to get rid of all amanto when they're hooked on drugs produced off world by amanto." Shaking her head with a tiny giggle, the older girl spoke as though she pittied them even as she mocked them.

Sougo finally spared her a glance, almost surprised by her usefulness. As always, Rei wore her black hair up in a messy bun, her inhuman golden eyes lighting up with amusement as she caught his gaze. With a smirk, she teased, "I know I'm beautiful, but you really shouldn't stare like that." He kicked her. "Oww! Bad doggy!"

"You gave me good info so I'll let that one go," he warned, "damn monkey." She just grinned back.

"When you say it like that, it almost sounds cute." She replied, dusting her blue kimono off as she stood up. "Hey, I'm hungry. Let's get lunch, Sougo."

This was the routine between the two, one a police officer, the other an informant. They were friends but it's be one hell of a stretch to say they were close or even good friends. In fact, they barely knew each other, even a year into their friendship. She knew he was an officer of the law, thus the "dog" comments. He knew she was clever and nimble with a tendency to climb up to higher ground, mostly trees, so he called her a monkey. Aside from names and their respective places on the S—M spectrum, they knew absolutely nothing personal about each other. And that was what made their relationship so easy.

Should she give him bad info, lead him into a trap, or turn out to be a double agent leaking info to the Shinsengumi's enemies, he wouldn't hesitate or regret killing her. Sadist or not, he had a heart; killing someone he knew wasn't easy. (Especially in Hijikata's case because the bastard just refused to die.) So far, all of Rei's info was right and her methods relatively honest.

In Rei's case, not knowing Sougo made it easier for her to hate him should he ever turn against her based on past crimes or a need to make good arrest numbers. If he did that, she could freely hate him and plot revenge without fear of her personal feelings holding her back.

It might appear to others to be a strange system but it worked out well until three days later when her job went beyond locating the weak links for him.

She pushed down the anxiety that being called to the station brought. Reminding herself that she brought this on herself, Rei straightened her back and marched right through the doors as though she owned the place. Maybe her confidence might make the guy interrogating her nervous! When she told the man at the desk who she was, he guided her not to an interrogation room but to a small conference room where four men, three of them unfamiliar, were drinking tea while waiting for her.

"Monkey." Sougo greeted her with his usual deadpan expression. To the left of the sandy haired young man was a much bigger guy with spiked up hair and a goatee. He nodded to her with a polite smile. To the sadist's right was a handsome dark haired man in the process of putting mayonnaise in his tea. Just looking at it made her feel sick! The other guy sat a polite distance behind them, flipping through a file. He seemed pretty normal; she didn't spare him another glance as she sat down.

"Sadist." She responded in kind, smirking. "What's this about? Did my info not pan out?"

The big man spoke up first. "Your information was great, Miss Tendo! As we hoped, he caved and told us everything." Rei stiffened up immediately. If that wasn't it... "Sorry for not introducing myself. I'm Kondo Isao, commander of the Shinsengumi. This is Hijikata Toshirou, our vice-chief, and Yamazaki, our go to man for covert operations!" She nodded in greeting, mentally calculating her odds of getting out of there alive if she ran for it.

"I'm Tendo Rei. Nice to meet you and all...but what am I doing here to start with?" The Mayo man, Hijikata answered this time, mixing the goopy substance into his innocent tea that did nothing to deserve such horrid treatment. _Oh holy shit, he's drinking it._ She thought, horrified.

"Twenty-five unarmed robberies and one case of assault and battery. The robbery victims were all criminals, but you still committed a crime by robbing them." His dark gray eyes fixed on me, and she glared back. "Honestly, I think you should be put on trial, even if you did retire from that business, but you have connections that we need to use." He motioned to the guy behind him who looked used to but still disgusted by the vice-chief's mayo habits. "Yamazaki, the file."

"Right...Here. It has a full record of you and all the information you've passed to Captain Okita. And there's paperwork in process that will offer you a full pardon of your crimes should you participate in and complete his assignment." He passed the folder to Hijikata who threw it down on the middle of the table.

"Toshi, don't be so tough on her! She probably had good intentions then! I mean, she was just a kid!" Rei laughed at that, taking the file and leafing through it, seeing all her past crimes in one place.

"Good intentions or not...I was wrong. I'm not denying that; I just have a different life now...So I'll do whatever you want me to do clear my name." Rei replied resolutely. "Though, I admit, it was nice for somebody to assume the best of me for once. Thank you." She smiled at Kondo-san. "What's the assignment?"

"Undercover with the Harusame." Sougo finally piped up, sounding almost uninterested in his own project. "The dealer said something big was starting so we're going to crash the party." I nodded, it made sense. That guy was really easy to crack and the patterns in behavior of other affiliated groups fit as well...

"So me and that Yamazaki guy are going to go undercover as pirate recruits?" Yamazaki shook his head, subtly motioning to Sougo with his hand. "Oh...Give me some time to think about it?" Something told her they wouldn't. "Fine...Sure, I guess...Ugh...How long is the operation? Is there a set end date yet?" When they said no, her shoulders slumped.

That's how things started to change. If only it was so easy to keep to their "no getting attached" rules while fighting side by side, they wouldn't be in this mess. Or if Hijikata had just died when Sougo remotely drove the car into that lake. So many things would've gone better if Hijikata had died, Sougo thought. After witnessing what he did to his tea, Rei kind of agreed.

 **Rei is part amanto; that's why her eyes are bright yellow like gold.** **I just** **really** **wanted to write a criminal/cop romance but that changed to informant/cop to pretend lovers/undercover ex-** **criminal** **and cop romance. This fic is an** **unplanned** **mess but I like it so far. I might switch to Rei's POV for writing comfort later so if the POV changed later down the line, it's partly for that. This feels so stiff, honestly... But I love Rei and hope you guys grow to too. Hope you enjoy it! Working on cover for this so that might look different later too.**


End file.
